We’ve all seen the unsavory and untrue “trend” in our society that claims that men, heterosexual men in particular are bad and masculinity is toxic. While women do bear a significant portion of who is to blame for these harmful lies about “toxic” masculinity but there are things that men are also doing to contribute to the demonizing and manipulation of Natural Masculinity. This article addresses the men who wish to take a stand against the anti-masculine rhetoric and degradation of the quality of masculinity and specifically in heterosexual natural males.
**The next article will be geared towards the women but for now this is for the men. *disclaimer: This is in no way an attack on other genders or sexual preference. All forms of identity deserve a voice without censorship or hatred.*
Men, it’s YOUR job, in order to do your part in the reviving and enhancement of natural, and healthy masculinity for you to support your fellow man and his masculine energy. Being masculine, yourself is great! Embracing it is great too, but now the time has come for the male species to defend and re-claim the male’s right to their most natural, and optimal masculinity.
Your masculine potential as a species and as a specific gender is threatened gravely in our time & safeguarding its rightful future is vital.
There are many undiscussed ways in which many men who unknowingly have propagated some of the harm being afflicted on male masculinity. Likely, as the following examples explain, where men have hindered their own species, & often it goes without notice but not without consequence. Understanding these common “anti-masculine” social cues & doing your part to discourage these actions greatly contributes to aide in the fight for the perseverance of masculine men. Below are some things men can keep in mind to benefit their male peers.
#1. Stop Treating Other Men as Effeminate.
Men look to other men for guidance on masculinity, and with fatherless homes becoming more and more common, males often turn to other males in their family and their peers. [calling your male friends w/ gender teases can discourage other males who may be looking to you for cues to masculinity.]
Being playful is natural but there are many ways to tease a male without attacking his masculinity and without calling him:
This goes beyond the younger years; in adulthood men make many choices in their life like those guys who get married will often cooperate with their partners on a plethora of life decisions. Your male peers deserve your respect. Belittling a man for his choice in shirts or cars or how he carries himself around women that aren’t his partners isn’t an indication of his masculinity. Being in a relationship and caring about your wife’s input is a healthy & masculine thing. That kind of cooperation and tradition is admirable.
So, in other words, remember that his girlfriend or wife likely makes your male friend feel very masculine, and his willingness to make compromises that arise in his relationships are not a joke. Be supportive of his choice to live out his masculinity. Do not try to make men insecure. People don’t like feeling insecure and people will choose to not be around people that make them feel that way. Don’t lose a friend and don’t let that friend lose his machismo.
2. Let Healthy Masculinity Thrive!
This scenario I see all too much and it’s a sad case of fighting fire with fire. As a result, masculinity gets burned. Say a group of men are at a bar, the park, any social setting where there are women around. If your single buddy starts to flirt with a woman.
DO NOT DO WHAT MEN SO OFTEN DO!
DO NOT TEASE HIM FOR HIS NATURAL MALE INCLINATION TO ATTRACT A WOMAN!
That tendency of courtship and flirting reflects a healthy hormonal response which should be praised if the situation is healthy. Calling him names, even in jest, about his healthy pursuits in romance is EXTREMELY detrimental to masculinity.
Telling the male friend that he is a:
” a Simp”, “a Wimp”, “Whipped”, “a
Cuck“, “a Sucker”, “a White-Knight”, “a Pussy“, OR that he’s: “Gone Soft”, “Lost His Man-Card.”
OR saying he doesn’t “Wear the Pants” in his relationships.
^All these terms villainize masculinity and discourages naturally healthy heterosexual human attraction. No Joke! **This is one of the most crucial anti-male social actions to understand!
When you do this to another male, regardless of if you like them or what your intentions are this scenario leaves a clear message: that your attraction to women and your testosterone is wrong and worthy of criticism even hurtful criticism.
What does that discouragement of his natural attraction to women suggest?
Joking might seem funny to you but to your pal it covertly messages that his interest as a man and his attraction to a woman is stupid and wrong. What then is your suggestion for whom he should to be attracted to? If making advances at a woman is the wrong option, the ridiculed choice–Then what else should he seek? You? Other men? Or perhaps you think he should be alone? That kind of discouragement can come across as if you think he shouldn’t try to bond with a potential mate, or that his hormones are terrible – even when he’s being respectful and sincere?
This is example of : Masculinity Shaming.
Unless YOU want to date your buddy, or unless YOU want to encourage him to be gay or alone then why would you discourage and tease him for exercising his masculinity toward a woman he likes?
The answer: A confidently masculine friend WOULD NOT do this. They would encourage the behavior of his male peer to express his masculinity when appropriate.
- Also, public, and private criticism, even as a joke can alter a man’s active testosterone. Many studies show that the way we hold our posture has a lot to do with testosterone production. Standing with authority and confidence actually BOOSTS testosterone. Don’t down your friend and ruin his masculinity for all the aforementioned reasons but also to not break his spirits down which will often reflect in body language and that body language could impede his testosterone levels. https://www.roadtosolidity.com/be-more-masculine
Not to mention men have feelings too. It’s not a feminine trait. The ability to know when to apply and reserve emotions is an honorable and masculine trait.
So, treat your bros with respect, build confidence and stand strong when needed to be.
#3. De-Valuing Masculine Presence in the Home.
This one is not so easy to influence but the payoff is a victory for healthy natural male masculinity! Recent studies have shown that the vast majority of adult males that become criminals are often raised by single mothers. In fact, boys tend to be benefited best in either a two-parent home with a mother and a father or being raised by primarily just the father.
As a woman, I write this knowing it’s not the fault of the women and says nothing negative about single mothers and their ability to raise children alone. It just furthers the fact that masculinity helps create more masculinity. Men and women aren’t oil and water but teaching masculinity in males is something that other males are inherently better at. Being a good father, instilling yourself as a good role model to your offspring and male offspring especially is vital to the potential and validity of a boy’s maturing masculinity.
Masculinity is the defining trait of the male species. Being able to speak and understand that “language” is so important to young men who are needing guidance, and respect in order to instill in them those qualities that lack in men later in life that may end up in crime. Teaching how to cope with authority, rules, repercussions, and reward as a male to a male makes lifelong impressions.
Situations like divorce and out of wedlock births are common in the United States, and not every couple can find the footing to work through a relationship for the sake of the children. However, taking no responsibility for your kids, and not fighting for full or partial custody may be detrimental to the child’s fundamental understanding of masculine energy and behaviors- this may lead to the child disrespecting authority and even women later in life. Be the example to young men for how to act out their masculinity in a healthy way.
Share your masculinity by being a respectable man. Doing what you can to encourage and strengthen understanding of masculinity will strengthen your bond as a father. Showing your son that, yes children can arise from adult relations, and sometimes those adults don’t work out but regardless as a man you acknowledge its still your role to be that father figure and set a healthy masculine example.
In conclusion, there are many forces; socially, politically, chemically, etc. that are doing all they can to demonize and devalue true natural masculinity and there are things you can do to defend them. Don’t treat your friends effeminately, don’t tease your male friends for making a healthy advance towards a woman he likes, take responsibility for being the masculine presence in your children’s lives (extended family too, wherever the need for healthy masculinity arises.)
Making traditionally masculine habits “cool” and admired again by other males is truly the first step men can do to protect natural male masculinity.